Dear Friends, Watch Smart Girls at the Party.

Today I'm not going to bring the sexy. Or maybe I will, in a round-about way. Today I want to focus on another important "S." I want to focus on Smart.

Did you know that my undergrad degree is in Theater Arts? It is fun to tell people that and see the reactions I get. A lot of times I get a reaction either assuming I am dumb or saying, "But you are too smart for that." Seriously, this happens a lot. Right after being praised for correctly answering a particularly difficult question in a college logic class the professor asked me my major. When I proudly said "Theater!" the entire class and the professor laughed hysterically. I was livid.

I'm not precious about my degree. I'd never go on a rant about the importance of the arts. I believe they are important, but what I'm saying is I don't see myself as that self-important, out-of-touch or unapproachable artist we see parodied in so many places. I have a sense of humor about theater, actors and everything else that I love about that world. I also had a very mixed experience as a theater major. I was considered "difficult" to cast. I was lamenting about all parts I was turned down for one director friend diplomatically told me, "They just wouldn't know what to do with you." I thought a lot about what that might mean. I knew my acting style was a little different. Too intense in serious roles maybe? Too off-the-wall in comedic roles? Too fat? I was never told that one straight out, but I sure wondered about it. I wondered a lot in those years about what was just a little too "whatever" about me. The funny part is that several teachers were very complimentary to me about the skill they saw in me. But when it came time to cast the shows I never made the cut. It seemed true that they enjoyed my work, they just didn't know what to do with me.

I had this awful acting for the camera class. It was awful both because of what we were taught and also because it involved watching myself on camera every day. I'm sorry, but even when you have good self esteem it is tough to look at yourself on a TV screen day after day. This class' curriculum was heavy on one philosophy, "find a type and be that type." Our teacher (who to his credit was very kind and supportive of me and was just teaching us the best strategies he knew to get roles on camera) constantly coached us to find a celebrity who we thought we looked or acted like and play up that "type." Myself and my friend Sadie pushed back against this and said things actors say, like "If we are actors aren't we supposed to be able to play anybody? What happened to creativity? What happened to the magic of acting?" I hope we didn't actually say that last one, but we might have.

Part of why I hated the idea of finding my "type" was that I liked me. I wanted to be my type. Another reason I hated the idea was I didn't think I would find a type to fit into. At least not a successful type. I couldn't think of any celebrity I would really want to be, who's personality style fit mine, who got all the roles I would want to have. It felt like my friend's statement coming back to haunt me again...if I couldn't find my "type" then no one would know "what to do with me" and I'd spend my whole career auditioning and getting turned down.

Well, I think I have found a celebrity who's "type" I would love to emulate (partly because I think she would hate that whole concept). Amy Poehler is amazing. Through the force of her incredible talent, self confidence and her refusal to be anyone but herself Amy Poehler has consistently put out work that I find hilarious and inspiring in a world that is tough on female comedians. She does smart woman humor. It is so easy for women to be relegated to stupid roles in comedy. Or to be pushed into the "I do women's comedy cause I'm a woman" genre. Here is one of my favorite clips of Amy Poehler in Parks and Recreation. I love it because it simultaniously uses all the stereotypes that get dropped against women while at the same time commenting on the stupidity of them. So smart!


Amy has an incredible project I just found out about, Smart Girls at the Party. She and two other amazing ladies (Meredith Walker and Amy Miles) find young girls and interview them about their skills, their lives, what they are proud of. The tagline of the site is "Change the World by Being Yourself." Watching these videos makes me laugh and cry. I laugh because the videos are fun! These young girls are amazing and proud and funny! I cry a little too because I almost never see young women and their skills, projects or chosen identities treated with the importance and esteem Amy Poehler gives them in her interviews. I like to think about what it would have been like to be a young girl featured on this show. How empowering that must feel! I like to think about the show still being around when my daughter is old enough to watch it or be on it.

This is where I bring it back around to the sexy. I believe sexual empowerment ties closely into how empowered you feel as a person in general. When we show young girls that we value them for who they are, the skills they present, the thoughts and opinions they share, we are showing them that at the core they are valuable people. We are empowering them to shoot for their big dreams. And this will transfer over into relationships and the sexual decisions they make. Girls who feel empowered and valued are way less likely to participate in sexual activity they don't want in order to "please" someone else or feel special. They will already feel special! Girls who feel confident in their bodies are going to ask for help if something hurts or feels wrong. Girls who's opinions have been valued will feel more able to speak up and negotiate safer sex issues with partners. Girls who know they are a person deserving of respect are going to bring that dynamic into their future relationships and require respect there too. Seriously, go watch Smart Girls at the Party. Show it to a young person in your life! Talk to young people in your life about what a great person you think they are because they are being themselves. What seems like a small act to you can be huge to a young person.

I mean it.
For reals.
Sincerely,
Laura Rad

P.S. After college (when I was apparently un-castable) guess what I did? I formed a theater group of my own (with my dear friend Sadie) and we wrote our own shows. We had a long standing monthly show at one of my favorite theaters in town. Did it pay the bills? Nope. Was I tremendously happy and proud of the original work I was creating while watching fellow theater grads do haircut commercials? Yep. And when I stopped doing theater regularly I made that choice because something else in my life came up that I loved a little more at that moment and wanted to pursue. People ask me now, as a sex educator and therapist, if I regret "wasting all that time" on theater. I never wasted time on theater. Theater shaped who I am today and many of my most dearly held beliefs and opinions on life. I couldn't be the sex educator and therapist I am today if I hadn't been the actor I was then. You never waste your time doing the things you love. Watch Smart Girls at the Party and that will become abundantly clear.

Fake It Till You Make It

Remember when you were 15 years old, and your parents passed you the keys to the family car? I am sure you felt liberated, excited, grown up and strong.

For me, I had absolutely no interest in ever driving a car. I hated cars (and still kinda do). I remember my mom picking me up after soccer practice in the “Yota” (Toyota Minivan) one day when I was in high school.
We were heading home and all of a sudden, my mom turned left into the parking lot of an elementary school. She stopped the car in the middle of the lot, and told me it was time to start driving a car. I really didn’t want to learn how to drive a car. I resisted my moms efforts to get me out of the passenger seat and into the drivers seat for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, I gave up my stubbornness and and moved into the drivers seat. My mom told me how to start the car, take it out of park and start moving. I did everything she told me to do and suddenly, I was moving... at about 5mph. The parking lot had a small slant to it, so the car started going a little faster and then faster...I freaked out! The speed had increased all the way to 15mph!! I hit the breaks, started crying and swore that that was the last time I would ever EVER drive a car AGAIN!!

That same situation seemed to repeat itself over and over at various times during my life. Every time I started something new, I wanted to be great at it. Not great in a few years but great from the beginning. I always worried that I would not be good enough or smart enough at activities I was starting. Because of this, I would try something and then slam on the breaks for fear of failure.

This held me back for a long long time and I hated it.

In my mid-twenties, I was fortunate enough to work with an amazing women that told me one of the best lessons I could ever learn. “Fake it till you make it”. She said that sometimes you need to pretend that you are ready for something, even if you don’t feel like you are. Once you throw yourself out there for the World to see, often you realize that you were ready after all.

Sometimes taking that first step can be the hardest step to take.

Hearing this information ended up being such a freeing moment for me. I realized that you need to have confidence in yourself and you need to trust yourself in order grow. Even when you are at the beginning of a journey when you are still uncertain of what is ahead, you need to trust that things will work out.

Baby Steps

Your journey gets a little easier with each step you take. With each step, your confidence will grow a little bit more. My co-worker said that to me only 5 years ago. Now, I look forward to that first step. I no longer get scared when someone hands me the keys to a new and exciting opportunity. Instead I grab the keys, hold my head up high, roll my shoulders back and “Fake It Till I Make It”!

Do you have your own “Fake It Till You Make It” stories? If so, let us know about them in the comments section below.

Karen

Strong, Sexy & Stylish - Episode 5: Lingerie!

In this episode, Sex Educator Laura Rad leads into the exciting world of lingerie. Why is lingerie a great tool for building confidence in the bedroom? What should you do if your partner wants you to wear lacy underthings and you're reluctant? Listen to find out!


Listen to the podcast by clicking here, or subscribe via iTunes.

Great lingerie resources from this episode include:

• Flirt Boutique: A local Twin Cities shop
• Frederick's of Hollywood: For gals on a budget
• Oh Cheri! Includes gorgeous plus-sized finds
• Itty Bitty Bra: Small bras for small busts.
• Agent Provocateur: FANCY. And spendy. But gorgeous.
• Marshalls, TJ Maxx, and Target

Opportunity Knocks for this episode:
Pick one feature on your body that you find attractive, and dress it up!

Remarkable Resource for this episode:
How to measure yourself to find your correct bra size via HerRoom.

Enjoy! We'll be back in two weeks to discuss weight lifting for women.

On Real Women

Do real women have children? Do real women have C cups and above? Do real women have loads of life experience under their belts? Do real women have curves? Do real women have their natural hair color? Do real women work for a paycheck? Do real women have sass? Do real women let their armpit hair grow long?

Yes. Yes.
All this and more.

Real women have children, real women cannot have children, real women choose not to have children, real women will have children someday, real women are unsure about having children, real women have grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

Real women have tiny boobs, real women have giant boobs, real women have medium-sized boobs, real women have one boob that is WAAAAY bigger than the other, real women have had to have their boobs surgically removed, real women have had their boobs augmented or reduced, real women haven't quite finished growing their boobs yet.

Real women have traveled the world, real women are yet to explore beyond their hometowns, real women have never been kissed, real women are trying to figure out who they are, real women are happy right where they are, real women will never be satisfied.

Real women have curves, real women are curve-free, real women look like Jessica Rabbit and like Olive Oyl, real women carry their weight up high and down low, real women wish they could carry more weight, real women have tiny waists and no waists, real women are infinite in geometry and configuration.

Real women have always had the same hair color, real women hate their natural hair color and haven't seen it in decades, real women prefer to change their hair color about once a week, real women get tri-color highlights at the salon, real women do their own highlights, real women are covering their grays, real women are salt-and-pepper, real women are all gray and all white, real women wear wigs, real women wear hats their friends have knitted for them because the hair is all gone.

Real women work their asses off for a paycheck, real women are still in school and haven't gotten a job yet, real women work their asses off raising kids, real women are spending some time traveling before settling down to a job, real women have enough money that they don't have to work for a paycheck, real women work and wish they didn't have to.

Real women are full to the brim with sass, real women are so shy they can't look a waitress in the eye, real women can give speeches to crowds of thousands, real women would prefer to stay home and read than go out clubbing, real women talk a lot but feel misunderstood and a little awkward most of the time, real women can salsa dance with total strangers, real women are learning to smile when people flirt with them.

Real women let their armpit hair grow long, real women shave every day, real women wax and use Nair and get laser hair removal, real women feel more womanly when they let their body hair be, just as it is, real women feel more womanly when they are as body-hairless as possible.

Real women wear full makeup to the gym and real women have no idea how to apply mascara. Real women have above average BMIs and real women are finally learning to eat again. Real women have sex with men, or with other women, or with both, or not at all, or aren't ready for sex yet, or don't want sex anymore. Real women have skin that is pale and rich dark brown and coffee-colored and spotty and smooth and everything in-between. Real women dedicate their lives to eradicating hunger on a global scale, and real women rely on an accumulation of small actions to change their local communities from the inside out. Real women talk too loud in bars and real women don't drink alcohol. Real women have parents who toiled for every penny and real women come from a long line of family wealth. Real women are pious and atheistic and unsure and still exploring. Real women are tall and short and fat and thin. Real women are redheads and brunettes and blondes, real women have black hair and gray hair and turquoise hair - and real women ALL have fun, and gentlemen prefer us ALL. Real women have just had their first menstrual cycle and real women are long past menopause.

Real women come from everywhere and can be found everywhere.

Yes. Yes.
All this and more.

Never let anyone tell you that you are not a real woman. NEVER. Not even another woman who seems wiser or more worldly or prouder or louder or prettier or sexier or stronger than you. No one can take your realness from you.

No one except yourself.

And don't you dare.

Image courtesy Christi Nielsen. Please take a look at her gorgeous "Ink" set, which she says is for an upcoming book project.


Originally posted here.

For the Mamas out there

Hey Strong, Sexy & Stylish Mamas or Mamas-to-be,

How's your sex life? I ask in solidarity. I know from experience that it is so hard to find the time and energy for intimacy with your partner when you have a young child (or a few!) who needs so much care and attention. But parents need time for fun and intimacy to keep their relationship strong and to be able to recharge as adult human beings.

Maybe time isn't the only issue. Maybe you and your partner have had trouble reconciling the idea of you being both "mom" and "sexy sex partner." Or maybe you had a difficult birth and your body just doesn't feel the same as it used to. Maybe it has just been so long since you've had sex you feel awkward initiating at this point. If any of this sounds like you or your relationship I am offering a class just for you!

On March 15th and again on April 11th, I will be teaching "Sexual Reconnect: Yes, you can have a Post-Baby Sex Life!" This class will be held at Blooma Yoga, a fabulous place for moms-to-be, new moms and their families that you should know about anyway. This is a couple's class but if I get feedback that people would come to a class just for mamas I will offer that in the future. For more information about this class and all my current classes check out my website. To register give Blooma a call at 952.848.111. Can't wait to see you there!

23 1/2 Hours

What is the single best thing you can do for your health?

Watch this video from Doctor/Professor Mike Evans and you will find out.

This is such an amazing video. It's so simple, yet so motivating. Send it to everyone you know! Lets get our bodies moving! Go for a walk with a friend, get a dog and stop watching t.v. (at least a little). We can all do this together.

Can you limit your sitting time to just 23 1/2 hours a day? What will you do for the extra 30 minutes? Let us know in the comment section below.

Thanks to our fabulous listener who sent this to us! Keep sending us awesome links.

Karen

photo credit to inmagine.com

Strong, Sexy & Stylish SHORT - Why are YOU Strong, Sexy and Stylish?

Although we still plan to publish full podcasts every other week, we've got so many great resources to share with you that we've decided to start rolling out some Strong, Sexy & Stylish SHORTS: Brief podcasts in which we share tips, product recommendations, books, blogs, and other great resources.

In this short, we will be asking you, the listener, to contribute to our movement!

We've had a blast since we launched Strong, Sexy & Stylish, and have just loved the feedback that we've gotten from you amazing readers and listeners. The problem is, we can’t SEE you! We want to know who you are, what you do, and what aspects of our three topic areas affect you personally. So, we thought now was the perfect time to give you your first Strong, Sexy & Stylish Mission.

This week, we're asking you to send a short video clip (around 30 seconds) to strongsexystylish@gmail.com telling us what makes YOU strong, sexy and/or stylish. We'll review submissions and compile the various clips into a longer video to share with all of you and others. We have a strong community of amazing women around us, and the world should know more about it!

Listen to this week's Strong, Sexy & Stylish SHORT for more background. And be sure to send us your video by March 20, 2011.

Ready for your first mission? GO!

Podcast Episode 4 Check In!

Hope you all enjoyed episode four! What are your thoughts on the look good, feel good connection? Care to share a story about how your appearance and presentation have impacted your confidence or self-esteem? We would love to hear from you, so do leave a comment if you'd like to chime in.

Also, how many of you took up the challenge to wear something that made you feel amazing each day for the past few? Keep it up, friends!

In this episode, we talked about:

• How the point of looking good is to feel good.
• How looking good often causes you to radiate confidence, walk taller, be more social, and engage OTHER self-care activities including sex, fitness, grooming, and relaxation.
• The importance of the "fake it 'til ya make it" philosophy.
• The benefits of planning outfits ahead of time.

Opportunity Knocks for this episode:
Every day in the coming week, select and wear something that makes you feel powerful, beautiful, or special.

Helpful Hint for this episode:
Remember that wearing color is a quick and easy way to look AND feel fantastic. Look at existing patterns for color pairing inspiration.

Enjoy! We'll be back in two weeks to discuss lingerie!

A Truly Amazing Clothing Sizing Tool

Wow, people. This is amazing.

This brilliant gal has compiled available information and created an algorithm that might just help you which size you actually wear at which retailer. Be sure to read this post for explanation of the project.

The tool isn't comprehensive, of course, but does include many popular UK and US retailers and sizes 0 to 16. Play around with it and let us know if it's helpful!

Sex-Positive...What is that?

This week I promised I would talk about a philosophy that is the basis of my work as a sex educator. I’m talking about the sex-positive movement.

What are the basic beliefs of the sex-positivism? Well, that depends on who you ask and what stage of the movement you are looking at. Some people argue sex-positivism started as early as the 1930’s with the ideas of Wilhelm Reich.





Yup. This guy. Believe it or not, he was thinking a lot of sexy thoughts.







Others say the groundwork for sex-positive theories were laid in the late 40‘s and 50’s with the research of Alfred Kinsey.

Here he is. I heart Kinsey. Seriously.
Even with his grumpy face on.

Many think the movement gained speed in the 70’s and link it to cultural shifts like the “free love” movement or important work in sex research like the Hite Report. Still others think sex-positivism is deeply entwined with the feminist sex wars of the 80’s. One thing is sure; sex-positivism has gone through many changes and continues to evolve all the time. Sex-positive people don’t always agree with each other on every issue. So within all this healthy growth, change and diversity of opinion in sex-positivism it can be tricky to lay out one basic statement to encompass the entire movement. That said, I think the brilliant Carol Queen captures the philosophy of sex-positivism well here:

"It’s the cultural philosophy that understands sexuality as a potentially positive force in one’s life, and it can, of course, be contrasted with sex-negativity, which sees sex as problematic, disruptive, dangerous. Sex-positivity allows for and in fact celebrates sexual diversity, differing desires and relationships structures, and individual choices based on consent."

Our American society has made some improvements in acknowledging the positive forces of sexuality but I believe overall we are still a sex-negative society. If you don’t believe me, try the following exercise:

Take a minute to think about what you’ve been taught about sex. Now examine what these statements assume about sex. Do they assume sex is a positive force? Do they assume sex is dangerous? Do they assume sex is dirty? Something to earn? Something to withhold? Something that is only for people with perfect faces and able bodies? My guess is that you will find the majority of beliefs our culture teaches about sex portray it as a negative force.

Here’s your challenge for the week. Once a day this week search your thoughts and identify the sex negative ones such as:
Guilt for sexual pleasure, experiences or number of partners
Worry about “too much” sexual pleasure
Use of words like “slut” or “whore” against yourself or others
Thinking sexual pleasure is unimportant or frivolous
Thinking of sex in general as something dangerous or uncontrollable

When you find you are having these thoughts take a moment to examine them. Do you really think they are true or have you just been told they are by friends, family or sex-negative society? Are these thoughts helpful to you? Do they make you feel good about yourself? Do they make you feel empowered? Are they true to your experiences of sex?

The sex-positive movement has changed my life. It has given me permission (and good reasons) to prioritize sexual pleasure in my life. It has acknowledged the importance, depth and value of my sexual experiences. It has empowered me to love and value my body as it is because my body is mine, is powerful and gives me pleasure. It has galvanized me to work toward a world where people are not judged on the number of sexual acts or kind of sexual partners they have but rather how well they treat themselves and others.

What do you think about sex-positivism? Freeing or frightening? Right on or unrealistic? I’d love your comments!

To read more about sex positivism check out:
Susie Bright
Betty Dodson


Reference:
Queen, Carol and Comella, Lynn. (2008). The Necessary Revolution: Sex-Positive Feminism in the Post-Barnard Era. The Communication Review 11(3):274–291. doi:10.1080/10714420802306783.

Pause

Pause... Just thinking of the word makes me feel calm. A pause in the day. A pause in a sentence. A vacation. A yoga class. Meditating.

Recently I have made my very best personal attempt at trying to meditate. The benefits of meditating like a calm mind, anxiety relief and better sleep are enough to make me want to start a regular practice. I also love that many successful entrepreneurs have some type of meditating scheduled into their busy days and lives. It keeps them focused and allows their “monkey mind” a chance to pause before they make that next big decision.

Have you ever tried to meditate? Maybe not even “meditate” but consciously sit in one spot and do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING for 5,10,15 or 30 minutes?

It can be pretty hard.

When I sit down to meditate, it feels like my brain goes into overdrive. Suddenly, I remember every last little thing that I need to get done in that day, week and month that I have forgotten. Even while listening to guided meditation, my mind trails off down hundreds of different roads and paths.

Last week, I set a timer on my phone for 10 minutes and sat on a rock at the beach with my eyes closed. Those 10 minutes felt like 30! I was trying to focus on my breath, the waves or the birds but every 20 seconds or so, I would start to think, “I wonder what we are doing today?” or “I have a lot of prep work to do for my classes next week.”

The good thing is, I would always bring myself back to the breath... for at least a little while.

What’s interesting is that even with my over-active “monkey brain”, I felt so much better after pausing for a few minutes to meditate. My mind felt clearer, and I could breathe better and my body felt more alive (except for the tired back from sitting:).

Taking a little pause in the day can be scary. Meditation can be scary. When we remove everything that we “have to get done” for a few moments, it allows our minds to really think about ourselves. Am I happy? Do I love my job? Do I need a change? Am I being a good girlfriend, mother, sister, and aunt? These are hard questions to ask ourselves. Sometimes they are questions that we don’t want to answer at all.

For me, having that time to allow my subconscious mind to come out and play is so very valuable. If I answer no to any of the above questions, I try to figure out how I can make my answer a yes. After a brief pause, I feel a better sense of purpose and I feel my productivity go into overdrive (for at least a while any way).

Someday, I hope to have a breakthrough in meditating where my mind will just be silent. I will hear nothing and a sense of calm will sweep over me. Until then, I will keep reaping the benefits of putting a little “pause” into my daily routine.

Do you take a pause during the day to do nothing? If so, what do you do? How does it help you? Please comment below.

Have a great week, and make sure to take a little pause break in your day.

Karen

Strong, Sexy & Stylish Podcast - Episode 4: The Look Good, Feel Good Connection

In this episode, Style and Body Image Writer Sally McGraw leads a discussion on the connections between looking gorgeous and feeling confident. All three contributors share stories of how dressing and presentation contribute to overall self-esteem, and explore the relationship between personal style and personal power. We also share information about a few organizations that work to help people feel better through clothing, makeup, and style.


Listen to the podcast by clicking here, or subscribe via iTunes.

More information about the organizations that Sally mentions can be found here:

• Look Good...Feel Better - Dedicated to supporting people recovering from cancer and cancer treatment by providing complimentary self-help beauty sessions.
• A Miner Miracle - Offers clothing and image counseling to low-income women and men to help them enter the workplace by educating them to present themselves with pride.

Opportunity Knocks for this episode:
Every day in the coming week, select and wear something that makes you feel powerful, beautiful, or special!

Helpful Hint for this episode:
Remember that wearing color is a quick and easy way to look AND feel fantastic. Look at existing patterns for color pairing inspiration.

Enjoy! We'll be back in two weeks to discuss lingerie!

Love

Just a little something to bring some warmth to your heart on Friday.

Photographer Lauren Fleishman started a photography project rightfully named Love Ever After about New York couples that have been married for 50 years or more.

She is now raising money on Kickstarter.com.
Take a look at her fundraising page and look at the heartwarming video. My only hope is that she raises enough money for the book, and then raises enough money for a documentary.

Cheers to love, in its many forms.

Have a great weekend!

Karen

Why Accessorize?

At a certain point in my personal style evolution, I felt like I understood clothing. Shapes, colors, materials, combinations of pieces that worked for my style and my figure were all in my mental bank. I had long since mastered shoes, had finally landed on a hairstyle that really suited me, and still didn't give a hoot about makeup.* When I pondered what to tackle next in order to continue to actively refine my style, there was one clear choice: Accessories.

While it's certainly true that many a gorgeous minimalist ensemble has been assembled and worn with naught but simple earrings, most outfits benefit from a few tastefully deployed accessories. As I explored the vast and sometimes overwhelming world of belts, scarves, hats, jewelry, handbags, and hosiery, I quickly discovered that mastering the art of accessorization was a worthy pursuit. Here's why:

Accessories add interest

Consider some basic outfit backbones: Jeans and tee, blouse and skirt, suit and button-down. Fine on their own, but not exactly attention-grabbing. Throw on a hat with your jeans and tee and you instantly up your sass factor. Belt that button-down over your skirt and you've added polish. Tuck a scarf into the neckline of your suit and the entire ensemble is elevated.

Accessories enable personal expression

Clothing itself can be a tool for personal expression, but it's often the finishing touches that really let your passions and quirks shine through. While you might opt for funky patterned tights, I might choose a solid bright. Your best friend might prefer long chain drop earrings while you stick to studs. Your sister prefers hip-slung belts while your cousin is a devotee of obis. Your boss loves cowgirl-themed boots and belts, your neighbor is all about embellished headbands, and your roomie loves skinny scarves. And, of course, these choices also have to do with figure flattery, availability, and taste. But they are also expressive and personal, and constitute and opportunity to truly customize your outfits. Often, clothes can serve as a canvas to let accessories shine.

Accessories can further your figure flattery goals

Accessories often allow us to "improve upon" outfits. Neckline a smidge too low for your comfort? Put a statement necklace in there. Dress a bit loose? Belt that sucker. Skirt cut you off at a funky spot? Like-colored tights can help with that. Top too plain on its own? A patterned scarf might be just the thing to perk it up. If you throw on a group of garments and something is just slightly off, chances are that an accessory can help make it right on.

Accessories are often objects of sentiment

Gifting clothing is challenging, but gifting accessories less so. Which means that the most sentimentally significant pieces in our wardrobes are often accessories. Heirloom jewels, birthday scarves, even pieces we've picked up in our travels. The wrap pictured above was purchased during our trip to Iceland, and whenever I wear it that fills me with nostalgia and joy. Few items of clothing hold that power.

Accessories provide texture

Some outfits are textured on their own, but many are composed of fairly smooth planes of cloth. Adding a leather belt, micro-fishnet tights, a woven scarf, or a chunky necklace creates depth and sophistication by lending a variety of textures to your ensemble. Texture isn't always a priority, of course, but whenever it is adding accessories to the mix is often the fastest way to texturize.

Accessories polish an outfit

When I say "polish," I really mean "complete." Adding a studded belt to a 50s shirt dress isn't going to make the outfit feel prim, proper, and polished in the old-fashioned sense of the word. But it may make it feel finished, refined, and complete. In my opinion, most outfits need an accessory or two to feel polished. Not all, but most. And tinkering with the proportions, textures, colors, and overall aesthetic of an outfit by adding and adjusting accessories can really help create a more finished-feeling look.

What do you think? Do you agree that honing your accessorization skills might help bring your personal style up to the next level? Any specific accessories you feel you've mastered? Which ones are the hardest? Do you agree that accessories can add enable personal expression? Polish off an outfit? Do tell!

*At this point, I estimate that I give 1/3 of a hoot about makeup.

Originally posted at Already Pretty

Hey Girl....

I wanted to have a brilliant theoretical post for you all this morning about the basics of the sex positive movement. But while there is lots of amazing people writing on the subject I wasn't finding anything that was as basic and straight forward as I wanted. So check back next Wednesday when I will have written a very basic breakdown of the sex positive movement.

Until then, check out Sex Radical Ryan Gosling. Whether you are a theory nerd like me or you just think Ryan Gosling is adorable you will laugh your butt off at this site! I wonder what Mr. Gosling thinks of it.

Have fun and come back next week with your sexy thinking caps on!

Mini-Vacation Fun

This past Friday, I went to my second home Oregon. I have spent periods of time living in the Northwest throughout my twenties, and part of my heart still resides in this beautiful part of our country.

My original reason to fly out to Portland was work-related. To be completely honest, I also wanted to escape the (not-so) cold winter of Minnesota and see my brother and his fiancé Liz.

I don't know about you but finding time to get your move-on while on a trip can be pretty hard to do. Finding time to be active while you are visiting people can be even harder! Everyone has different fitness needs and wants. Getting together with family members can make your daily, weekly or monthly workout routine a little harder to stick with. When I visit friends and family, I tend to want to “hang out” more, move less and eat a lot.


Luckily, taking walks, going hiking and playing games that include all family members can be integrated into a visit with friends and family.

Since it was just the three of us, we decided to take a drive down to the Oregon Coast to enjoy the 60-degree weather and do some short hikes on the bluffs and beaches around Cannon Beach.

The scenery was amazing! We went on two hikes, one at Tilamook Head in Cannon Beach and another at Carl G Washburne Memorial State Park. Washburne is well known in Oregon for its beauty and for its surfing.


We stood and watched all the surfers fighting these enormous waves for quite a while. What an amazing and challenging sport!

I have had an agreement with the ocean ever since my last trip to Hawaii about five years ago. The ocean is a beautiful thing to look at, but not something for me to go in. I have horrible thoughts of rip tides, sharks and other scary things that could bite me. After watching the beauty of the day and the gracefulness of the surfers, I am wondering if oceans should be the next fear I face and surfing should be the next fun activity that I try.



What do you think? Have you ever tried surfing? Did you like it? What active beach activities do you like to do? What activities do you do when visiting friends and family? Let us know by commenting below.

Be kind to yourself,
karen

Strong, Sexy & Stylish SHORT - Nadine Thornhill

Although we still plan to publish full podcasts every other week, we've got so many great resources to share with you that we've decided to start rolling out some Strong, Sexy & Stylish SHORTS: Brief podcasts in which we share tips, product recommendations, books, blogs, and other great resources.

In this first short, we're introducing you to sexual health educator Nadine Thornhill, and her fantastic blog, Adorkable Undies. Nadine's insightful, fascinating blog most definitely qualifies as Remarkable Resource!

Listen to this Strong, Sexy & Stylish SHORT by clicking here, or subscribe to all episodes via iTunes.

Podcast Episode 3 Check In!

Hi! I hope you enjoyed episode three! Have you tried something new that makes you sweat in the past week? What kind of movement activities do you enjoy doing? We would love to hear from you! Post a comment below and let us know what you do that makes fitness fun. We love to hear from our listeners. Your comments help motivate each other and us.

In this episode, we talked about:

• How fitness and health can be fun for each and every one of you.
• Incorporate movement into your daily life.
• Workout with friends. Friends hold you accountable and they make movement fun!
• Workouts can be done at a gym, at home, outside or in a studio.

Opportunity Knocks for this episode:
Try something new that makes you SWEAT! Then swing by next week and tell us what you tried.

Fun Find for this episode:

Lole Lively Pants

Enjoy! We'll be back in two weeks to discuss the Look Good / Feel Good Connection!

Your Body Doesn't Lie

A reader and supporter e-mailed me a link to a fantastic essay, and I wanted to share it with you folks. In it, a massage therapy student shares eight things she learned from 50 naked people. All of her insights are fantastic, but I particularly like this one:

"That thing you’re embarrassed about? That you don’t want anyone to see? That you tense up and hold your breath over? The part of you that you wish were different? It’s ok. Let go. Enjoy it. It’s part of what makes you so beautiful."

Swing over to Elephant Journal and take a peek at Kate Bartolotta's Eight Things I Learned from 50 Naked People.

Image courtesy Christi Nielsen.

Please, I need a Party in My Pants today!!!

Hey all you Strong, Sexy & Stylish Folks!

Wow, have I been having a tough time figuring out what I want to feature in my first blog post! I think that is because I am responsible for the "sexy" in the podcast and I am just not feeling sexy today. Instead I'm feeling crampy and bloaty because I have my period. Good thing I have Party in My Pants products to add some cheer to my cranky mood! Check out this awesome statement from their website that put a smile on my hormonal face this morning:

"Has a tampon ever made you look forward to your period? Does your maxi pad make you smile? Nope. Most menstrual products only make the whole affair more uncomfortable. What's up with that? Women deserve better."

Party in My Pants are reusable cloth menstrual pads. Are you wondering why you should consider using cloth pads when it is easy to buy disposables? Well, there are lots of great reasons to try reusable menstrual products (and lots of different products out there!). It is better for the environment, cheaper in the long run, some people find it more comfortable and you are exposing the tender parts of your body to fewer chemicals with cloth pads than with rayon pads or tampons. Check out this great article that outlines some of the reasons women love reusable menstrual products.

My Monthly Cycles-Reusable Menstrual Products

I happen to have met the lady that makes Party in My Pants, Luci Daum, and she is a total sweetheart! So give cloth pads a try and support a fabulous lady-owned business while you do. Yes, I am feeling happier already!

-Laura Rad